How to make big decisions more easily (2024)

Psychology professor Laurence Alison is an expert in how to make decisions, but in the early days of his career, it was all theoretical. Then one day he took a call from “someone very senior”, who described a worrying trend: police chiefs were showing themselves unable, in critical situations, to make crucial choices. “He asked, ‘Is there anything you can do to help?’”

There was. Alison – a straight-talking, no-nonsense person – started to translate what he knew from textbooks and turn it into practical advice. “Academic work on decision-making had concentrated on studying how they’re made in theoretical settings,” he says. “But I realised we needed to move it to real-time, lives-on-the-line situations: tsunamis, earthquakes, floods, where chances were, someone was being presented with a situation where almost every choice looked dire. I knew I had something to offer that would make a difference.”

Now he and his colleague, Neil Shortland, with whom he runs training courses for military, law enforcement and political leaders around the world, have written a book that translates the wisdom they’ve honed still further, making it relatable to a wider audience. “The people we work with face tumultuous decisions on a regular basis,” Alison says. “In normal life, perhaps 1% of the decisions we make are genuinely life-changing. It’s things like whether to commit to your partner; would it be better to change career; is this the right time to have a baby? The problem is that many people are terrified of these decisions. They believe they’re bad at making critical choices. You hear them saying things like, ‘I just wish someone would tell me what I ought to do.’”

In fact, the gem at the heart of the book is that there’s almost always a decision that’s uniquely right for you – so it’s usually best to make your own decisions. It’s a question of tapping into your personal values and concentrating not on the process but on the end goal. “I’d say the biggest mistake people make when it comes to decision-making is failing to focus on the outcome,” says Alison. “They fret about making the decision, when what they ought to be doing is throwing things forward and asking themselves, ‘What do I really want to achieve here?’” Shortland agrees: “People fail to focus clearly on what matters to them. They see that an option is appealing in one sense, but they don’t think about what they need to give up to get it.”

For Alison, who teaches at Liverpool university, and Shortland, who’s based at the University of Massachusetts, acknowledging the place of regret is fundamental to effective decision-making. Fear of regretting a decision later is paralysing for some people – and that’s part of why they believe the biggest danger around decisions isn’t doing the wrong thing, it’s doing nothing. “In many ways we’re wired to want to retain the status quo, to play safe,” says Alison. “These big life decisions are unusual events in our lives. We don’t have much to compare them to, so we lack expertise – and the easy thing is to be risk-averse and stick with what we’ve got.” He calls it “decision inertia” and says it’s common in many knife-edge situations – mounting a rescue operation, for example, or choosing when to launch a military attack – where there is no perfect outcome, just “bad” or “worse”. That’s the same with some “ordinary life” decisions, too – and in those cases, what’s needed is a realisation of what’s least bad – but it’s always going to be an unpalatable judgment to have to make.

What, then, is the secret to being able to make even the trickiest of decisions? Alison and Shortland have come up with a formula with the guiding acronym “Star”. S is for situational awareness, it’s about working out what’s happening, why it’s happened and what you think is going to happen next. In their book, they tell the story of Jenny, who discovered her husband of 11 years, Rob, was having an affair with a work colleague. The discovery clearly gave Jenny a huge decision to make, about whether to stay with Rob or leave him; but first, she had to work out what was going on, both in their marriage and in the other relationship. Leaving Rob seemed like the obvious way forward, but in the end, Jenny stayed. When she unpacked the situation, she could see what had gone wrong in her marriage, but more importantly she thought it was possible to repair the damage. When you’re up against it, says Shortland, your brain is like a glass that’s already full of water. You need to let some of it out before you can think through what’s going on. You need to find yourself some space, some time, before you can unravel what’s happening.

But time – the T of the acronym – is highly significant here, too. Because before you make a decision you need to calculate how much time there is available to make it in, and if there’s no time frame, and it’s open-ended (should I look for a new job? Do I want to move to another country?), you need to watch out that you don’t go down the doing nothing route, because you’ve got forever. You haven’t really got forever, Alison and Shortland warn: life is short, and sometimes if you choose to hang on rather than make a choice, you’re effectively making the choice anyway.

The A in Star is for adaptation. Good decision-makers are open-minded and adventurous in their headspace, and tend not to be daunted by exploring new possibilities. “Take the example of someone who gets a call out of nowhere, offering them a new job,” says Shortland. “The danger in this case is that you’ll be flattered into taking it, thinking you’ve not had to hustle for this, it’s landed in your lap, so why not take it? What you should do, though, is test it: instead of rehearsing all the reasons why it makes sense to take it, test yourself with arguments about how it’s not right.” We’re wired, he explains, to look for validation (hello, social media). But if you reassure yourself that something is right and then it turns out to be wrong, you’ll pay the price.

Finally, R is for revision, because making a decision once doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t revisit it. “The Star model is anchored around what people tend to struggle with around decision-making,” says Shortland. “We want to share the pitfalls, to describe the dangers of how your mind tends to want to go, so you can override it if that’s in your interests. We’re trying to look at decision-making as an organic process, rather than as an end in itself. Ours is a holistic approach, and it hinges on knowing what matters most to you.”

Alison and Shortland agree that some personality types find it easier than others to make decisions: they make a lot of so-called maximisers (who strive for perfection) versus satisficers, who will settle for something that’s “good enough”. The problem for maximisers is that hanging on waiting for everything to line up might mean missing an opportunity, and also, real life is rarely if ever perfect. At the root of good decision-making is the knowledge that in plumping for one option, you have to give up on other possibilities. The cooler you can be about letting them go, the more streamlined your decision-making will become.

So how good are Alison and Shortland at making their own decisions? Shortland says he was recently offered a new job and had to decide whether to go for it or not. “It was a challenge, because I had to reflect very deeply on what I really wanted,” he says. “And having written a whole book about it, it still took me five days to make my choice: self-awareness and honesty are what it’s all about and that takes time.” Alison says he still has to chew over decisions, and some are certainly more difficult than others. “My stumbling block is sometimes reacting too quickly – not taking notice of my own advice to work out whether or not I need to act at this precise moment, or if I can wait a while.”

Meanwhile, they are considering the use of artificial intelligence. “AI can play chess, it can guide fighter planes, it can spot patterns and warn us about things,” says Shortland. “But can it tell us which decisions to take right now? Could AI handle the next pandemic? We’re starting to look at the pros and cons. As with the police chiefs, the real world came calling: this is the hot topic right now, and we’re in the thick of it.”

Decision Time: How to Make the Choices Your Life Depends On by Laurence Alison and Neil Shortland is published by Vermilion at £14.99. Buy a copy from guardianbookshop.com for £13.04

How to make big decisions more easily (2024)

FAQs

How do you make decisions when you have too many options? ›

Give yourself more time to process and weigh all of the options before making a decision, but don't hang around too much. By introducing a comfortable deadline for making a decision, you can cut down on regrets while still easing the pain of the decision-making process.

How do you answer Tell me about a time you had to make a difficult decision? ›

Choose an example

Consider selecting an example from your past professional experience. Think about a few of the times when you had to make a challenging decision and why it was so challenging for you. Try using your answer to reflect on your thought process and explain your decision-making style to the interviewer.

Why is making good decisions important? ›

The ability to make good decisions can help us become happier people, thus better at human relations. When we understand how we feel about a certain decision we have to make, we can look realistically at all possible solutions from a cognitive level, which allows us to also make better decisions.

How do you make important decisions example interview answers? ›

Short Answers
  • "I make important decisions by examining all the details and then weighing the pro's and con's for each decision."
  • "I gather all the information I can find and based on the information, I'll come to the best decision I can. ...
  • "I believe all decisions should be made by having all the information.

How can I improve my decision making skills? ›

Steps to Improve Your Decision-Making Skills
  1. Review Strong Decision-Making Skills. ...
  2. Take Your Time. ...
  3. Start with the Desired Outcome. ...
  4. Weigh the Pros and Cons. ...
  5. Get a Second (or Third) Opinion If You Need It. ...
  6. Use Past Experience as a Guideline. ...
  7. Measure the Results. ...
  8. Learn from Your Mistakes.

What is a good example of decision making? ›

You have many decision-making examples in daily life such as: Deciding what to wear. Deciding what to eat for lunch. Choosing which book to read.

Why can't I make decisions easily? ›

Difficulty in making decisions can be caused by several factors, such as a fear of failure and a lack of confidence or information. Indecisiveness can also be a symptom of mental health conditions, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

How do you overcome choice overload? ›

How to deal with choice overload
  1. Consider only a few options.
  2. Compare choices with pros and cons.
  3. Let go of the other choices.
  4. Trust your instincts.
  5. Seek advice.
  6. Take your time.
Jul 5, 2022

How do you overcome decision anxiety? ›

Anxiety may be a factor. Here's why – and how to overcome your indecisiveness.
...
To overcome indecision caused by anxiety, try the following strategies:
  1. Avoid choice overload. ...
  2. Avoid perfectionism. ...
  3. Don't catastrophise. ...
  4. Flip a coin. ...
  5. Make a list of pros and cons. ...
  6. 'Ooch' into big decisions. ...
  7. Live with uncertainty.
Sep 17, 2021

How do you make a quick decision under pressure? ›

Photos courtesy of the individual members.
  1. Clear Your Mind.
  2. Determine The Desired Outcome.
  3. Prioritize Key Factors.
  4. Make Decisions Intuitively.
  5. Prepare For Potential Consequences.
  6. Weigh Decisions Against Probability And Desirability.
  7. Understand The Problem.
  8. Utilize Decision Matrices.
Jun 16, 2021

Can you give an example of a situation in which you made a fast decision? ›

I made a snap decision at my last cashier job when someone tried to rob the store. During a transaction, a customer put his hand in his pocket, said he had a weapon, and told me to give him all the money in the register.

How do you handle difficult situations at work answer? ›

HOW DID YOU HANDLE A DIFFICULT SITUATION ... - YouTube

What makes a good decision-maker? ›

A good decision-maker chooses actions that give the best outcome for themselves and others. They enter into the decision-making process with an open mind and do not let their own biases sway them. They make decisions rationally, after researching alternatives and understanding the consequences.

How do you make the right decision when Confused? ›

Here's four things to consider when making a decision:
  1. Know your values and your vision. When we know our values and what we stand for, then making a decision is so much easier. ...
  2. Know who you are. ...
  3. Listen to your intuition. ...
  4. Commit and follow through (remember: nothing is permanent).
Nov 6, 2019

What is effective decision making? ›

Effective decision making is defined here as the process through which alternatives are selected and then managed through implementation to achieve business objectives. 'Effective decisions result from a systematic process, with clearly defined elements, that is handled in a distinct sequence of steps' [Drucker, 1967].

What influences decision making? ›

During the decision making process, there are four behavioral factors that influence the decisions we make. These behavioral factors are our values, our personality, the propensity for risk, and the potential for dissonance of the decision.

How do you make a decision and not regret it? ›

How To Make Decisions That Are In Alignment With Your Highest Self
  1. Be aware that you have a choice.
  2. Question your choice.
  3. Notice when fear is taking the lead.
  4. Surrender your decision.
  5. Ask for help.
  6. Be present and look for signs.
  7. Trust your intuition.
  8. Pay attention to what your body is telling you.

How do you answer a decision making question? ›

When answering the question and providing an example, briefly explain the situation and the tasks you completed. You can then talk about the action you took and its outcome. Ensure you provide an example of a decision you made that had a positive result.

How do you make a decision without enough information? ›

How to Answer : Making a Decision Without All the Information - YouTube

How do you make a quick decision interview question? ›

Tell Me About A Time When You Had To Make A Quick Decision ...

How do you make a master decision? ›

Here are six steps to put you on the path to making effective choices:
  1. Take a breath. The bigger the decision, the more it can weigh on you. ...
  2. Know the facts. Related. ...
  3. Widen your options. Sometimes it can seem like your options are limited, but that's typically not the case. ...
  4. Get other opinions. ...
  5. Learn from the past. ...
  6. Look forward.
Apr 13, 2016

How do you overcome poor decision making? ›

7 Ways To Stop Making Bad Decisions
  1. Seek good information. Our decision-making is often influenced by information we get from external sources, including so-called experts. ...
  2. Avoid common pitfalls. ...
  3. Look at your history. ...
  4. Check in with yourself. ...
  5. Take care of yourself. ...
  6. Make time to think. ...
  7. Analyze well.
Mar 4, 2014

What is strong decision-making skills? ›

Decision-Making Skills Definition

Decision-making skills are all of the skills you need to make an informed, rational decision. Someone with good decision-making skills at work can assess all the facts, understand the company's current state and goal state, and choose the best course of action.

What are the 6 skills for decision-making? ›

The DECIDE model is the acronym of 6 particular activities needed in the decision-making process: (1) D = define the problem, (2) E = establish the criteria, (3) C = consider all the alternatives, (4) I = identify the best alternative, (5) D = develop and implement a plan of action, and (6) E = evaluate and monitor the ...

What are the 7 decision-making skills? ›

  • Step 1: Identify the decision. You realize that you need to make a decision. ...
  • Step 2: Gather relevant information. ...
  • Step 3: Identify the alternatives. ...
  • 7 STEPS TO EFFECTIVE.
  • Step 4: Weigh the evidence. ...
  • Step 5: Choose among alternatives. ...
  • Step 6: Take action. ...
  • Step 7: Review your decision & its consequences.

Why do I keep changing my mind about everything? ›

People with BPD might find that they constantly change their mind about things, whether it's their feelings towards the people around them, or other areas of their life, such as their goals, ambitions or sexuality. Self-harm. In some cases, people with BPD self-harm.

Why do some people find it hard to make decision? ›

Overall, common factors that make it harder to make decisions are complexity, uncertainty, and serious consequences, in addition to other factors, such as lack of self-confidence.

Why can't I stick to my decisions? ›

Limit your choices

2021 research indicates that choice overload may cause you to become stuck because it's hard to make a decision when there are so many options. It may help you make better decisions when there aren't so many options to choose from.

How do you solve choice paralysis? ›

Here's a list of tips for combating analysis paralysis to help you make decisions more easily:
  1. Recognize it. ...
  2. Prioritize the decisions. ...
  3. Take a break. ...
  4. Ask someone for advice. ...
  5. Make quick decisions. ...
  6. Set a deadline. ...
  7. Understand your goals. ...
  8. Limit your information intake.

How do you make decisions with ADHD? ›

Strategies and tips for decision making with ADHD
  1. Define the problem. The first step is to define the problem. ...
  2. Write down your thoughts. ...
  3. Make a list. ...
  4. Find a quiet space. ...
  5. Create a deadline. ...
  6. Limit your choices. ...
  7. Ask for help. ...
  8. Celebrate your good decisions.

What is it called when you have too many choices? ›

Overchoice or choice overload is a cognitive impairment in which people have a difficult time making a decision when faced with many options. The term was first introduced by Alvin Toffler in his 1970 book, Future Shock.

Why do I panic when I have to make a decision? ›

This may be due to how areas in the brain interact with one another. When you have feelings of anxiety, the connection between your brain and the pre-frontal cortex — the part of the brain responsible for decision-making — may be weakened.

Does ADHD make it hard to make decisions? ›

It's common for people with ADHD to have trouble making decisions. Making decisions is a process that requires a handful of skills. People with ADHD usually struggle with those skills.

What is the fear of making decisions? ›

What is Decidophobia? Decidophobia is defined as the “irrational fear of making decisions.” In its most extreme form, those who have this fear may experience full blown panic attacks when even thinking about having to make a decision.

What is the word for making quick decisions? ›

If you make decisions quickly, you are someone who is decisive. A decisive event can settle something, like a war. People who are wishy-washy are the opposite of decisive: being decisive means you don't waffle or take forever to make up your mind, and then you stick by what you decided.

How do you make a difficult decision at work? ›

How to make a hard decision at work
  1. Schedule time for decision-making. ...
  2. Consider the future outcomes. ...
  3. Make an informed decision. ...
  4. Avoid overthinking. ...
  5. Collaborate with your coworkers. ...
  6. Incorporate "head" and "heart" decision-making. ...
  7. Practice being decisive.

What is a quick decision? ›

A quick decision often ignores the situation, instead of relying on your intuition to guide you towards your preferred outcome. Intuition isn't as good as we believe it to be. You see intuition is a learned response from an earlier experience.

What are the most difficult decisions to make interview answer? ›

Here are some of the most challenging decisions that people in mid-management and senior management have to make: Deciding who to terminate if layoffs become economically necessary. Terminating well-meaning, but incompetent, team members. Deciding who to promote when you have several great candidates.

How do you work under pressure? ›

In this post we offer tips to help your team maintain composure and cope better with stress and pressure in the workplace.
  1. Maintain control and focus. ...
  2. Create a plan. ...
  3. Evaluate your priorities. ...
  4. Avoid procrastination… ...
  5. 5. … ...
  6. Break down tasks and simplify. ...
  7. Communicate effectively with your team. ...
  8. Execute the plan.

How do you deal with pressure or stressful situations interview answer? ›

How Do You Handle Stress Interview Question and Answer
  • Understand why the interviewer is asking this job interview question. ...
  • Make a list of your soft skills. ...
  • Add context to these skills with a relevant, impactful example. ...
  • Focus on your positive actions, not your negative feelings. ...
  • Don't deny your stress.

Why can't I make big decisions? ›

Fear of making the wrong decision is one of the reasons that many people hesitate when faced with a choice. You may be afraid of failure or even the consequences of success. You may worry what other people will think about you. Perfectionism may be getting in your way.

What the Bible says about big decisions? ›

Ask God for Wisdom and Discernment: James 1:5

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him." God doesn't make decisions for us, though. He gives us the gift of free will so that we can make decisions and choose to love him.

How do you make complex decisions? ›

Engage Logical Thinking
  1. Present a range of options. Rather than presenting people with a series of binary choices, have them select from 3-5 reasonable options.
  2. Avoid abstract discussions. ...
  3. Avoid brain fatigue. ...
  4. Create time for reflection between evaluating information and making subsequent decisions.
Jul 1, 2020

How do leaders make good decisions? ›

  1. 5 Decision-Making Skills for Successful Leaders. ...
  2. Identify critical factors which will affect the outcome of a decision. ...
  3. Evaluate options accurately and establish priorities. ...
  4. Anticipate outcomes and see logical consequences. ...
  5. Navigate risk and uncertainty. ...
  6. Reason well in contexts requiring quantitative analysis.
Apr 21, 2022

How do you overcome decision anxiety? ›

Anxiety may be a factor. Here's why – and how to overcome your indecisiveness.
...
To overcome indecision caused by anxiety, try the following strategies:
  1. Avoid choice overload. ...
  2. Avoid perfectionism. ...
  3. Don't catastrophise. ...
  4. Flip a coin. ...
  5. Make a list of pros and cons. ...
  6. 'Ooch' into big decisions. ...
  7. Live with uncertainty.
Sep 17, 2021

How do you overcome indecision? ›

12 tips on how to overcome indecisiveness
  1. Recognize the outcomes of indecision. ...
  2. Focus on the benefits of each option. ...
  3. Understand the scope of your decisions. ...
  4. Write out each option. ...
  5. Create personal deadlines. ...
  6. Work on your self-confidence. ...
  7. Practice stress management techniques. ...
  8. Use the process of elimination.

How do you make a decision and not regret it? ›

How To Make Decisions That Are In Alignment With Your Highest Self
  1. Be aware that you have a choice.
  2. Question your choice.
  3. Notice when fear is taking the lead.
  4. Surrender your decision.
  5. Ask for help.
  6. Be present and look for signs.
  7. Trust your intuition.
  8. Pay attention to what your body is telling you.

How does God want us to make decisions? ›

God wants us to choose, because we love him and want to obey him, to make our decisions within the overall blueprint of his will. It is the Holy Spirit who can guide our choices even as we have freedom to make them.

How do I know what decision God wants me to make? ›

Simply, talk to God and ask Him to show you His will and read your Bible. These things must be connected to making a wise and godly decision. God will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER ask you to make a decision that goes against His word…

What Bible verses help with decision-making? ›

Bible Verses for Making Decisions
  • Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
  • James 1:5 (NIV)
  • 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NIV)
  • Proverbs 18:13 (NIV)
  • Matthew 16:26 (NIV)
  • Joshua 24:15 (NIV)
  • Proverbs 1:7 (NIV)
  • Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

What is effective decision-making? ›

Effective decision making is defined here as the process through which alternatives are selected and then managed through implementation to achieve business objectives. 'Effective decisions result from a systematic process, with clearly defined elements, that is handled in a distinct sequence of steps' [Drucker, 1967].

What is a good example of decision-making? ›

You have many decision-making examples in daily life such as: Deciding what to wear. Deciding what to eat for lunch. Choosing which book to read.

How can I improve my decision-making skills? ›

Steps to Improve Your Decision-Making Skills
  1. Review Strong Decision-Making Skills. ...
  2. Take Your Time. ...
  3. Start with the Desired Outcome. ...
  4. Weigh the Pros and Cons. ...
  5. Get a Second (or Third) Opinion If You Need It. ...
  6. Use Past Experience as a Guideline. ...
  7. Measure the Results. ...
  8. Learn from Your Mistakes.

How do I become a confident decision maker? ›

How To Be More Confident In Your Own Decisions
  1. Be Aware Of What You Want. The best way to make a decision is by knowing what your goals are. ...
  2. Ask For Advice, But Make Your Own Choice. ...
  3. Listen To Your Gut. ...
  4. Make Sure You Are In The Right Frame Of Mind. ...
  5. Learn To Trust Yourself. ...
  6. Practice, Practice, Practice.
Feb 15, 2021

How do you make a master decision? ›

Here are six steps to put you on the path to making effective choices:
  1. Take a breath. The bigger the decision, the more it can weigh on you. ...
  2. Know the facts. Related. ...
  3. Widen your options. Sometimes it can seem like your options are limited, but that's typically not the case. ...
  4. Get other opinions. ...
  5. Learn from the past. ...
  6. Look forward.
Apr 13, 2016

Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Allyn Kozey

Last Updated:

Views: 6226

Rating: 4.2 / 5 (43 voted)

Reviews: 90% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Allyn Kozey

Birthday: 1993-12-21

Address: Suite 454 40343 Larson Union, Port Melia, TX 16164

Phone: +2456904400762

Job: Investor Administrator

Hobby: Sketching, Puzzles, Pet, Mountaineering, Skydiving, Dowsing, Sports

Introduction: My name is Allyn Kozey, I am a outstanding, colorful, adventurous, encouraging, zealous, tender, helpful person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.